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Sample College Essays

New Vision Learning Writer's Block

Writer’s Block?

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You’re not alone! Writing is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do.

You’re not alone!

Writing is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do.

Let’s face it:  Writing is hard! 

That’s why I have a job!

Everyone faces writer’s block at one time or another.  The fact is, freeflowing, easygoing when it comes to writing college essays, or writing anything, really, is rare!

There are those moments, but they are few and far between.  I like to say that when you experience a moment in which an essay seems to write itself, it’s a dangerous piece of luck!

You expect it to happen next time you sit down to write, but lo and behold, you hit a roadblock!

There are many reasons students get stuck.  I will name and few and you can see whether any of these apply to you:

Nerves

The College Admissions Essay is only the most important piece of writing you’ll ever do in your life.  Not to make you nervous, but it’s true! 😉 

Narrative Personal Statement? What’s that?

You have been trained to write in one form, and one form only — the analytical essay.  But the college admission essay is a narrative personal statement.  It’s a story essay that must grip the reader from the first word to the last.

This Sounds Dumb

You start and stop, start and stop.  ” This sounds ridiculous,” you say to yourself.  Or, “How shall I begin?”  Editing writing is a killjoy.  You have to really avoid doing that.  In addition, even though you’ve been taught to write an introduction first, it’s the worst place to start writing.  How can you introduce something before you know what you want to say?  And of course, that part of your brain that organizes, analyzes, introduces, edits and proofreads takes over and squashes out all the creative ideas you might have had if you felt free.

Telling Them What You Think They Want to Hear

What they really want is an authentic expression of who you are, the challenges you have faced, how you have dealt with adversity, what floats your boat.  As soon as you start worrying about pleasing the admissions committee, you’re sunk.  The most powerful essays I’ve read are those that tell a real story about a real person facing real life circumstances in a uniquely personal voice.  You must find your story and tell it from your heart.

So how do you get UNSTUCK?

I have a few key tips for you that come from personal, and many years of, experience! And of course, my book The Art of the College Essay is a treasure trove of tips and strategies for avoiding, or getting you out of the hole!

Here’s what I would suggest:

Get your hands on a bunch of winning essays.  You can find some here in Best College Admissions Essays 2014 & 2016.  You won’t like all of them, but that doesn’t matter.  Find the ones you like and learn from them.  Use them as models for your own writing.

Locate “moments” and write about those, e.g. the moment you realized you didn’t need to be nervous to get an A, the first time you picked up a tennis racket, the moment you watched the sunset with your grandmother . . .  Then Free Write on these moments.  You’ll hear me speaking about Free Writing A LOT!  That’s because it is the single most important weapon in your arsenal.  Free Writing involves writing everything you can think of, in no particular order — you don’t even need paragraphs — until you have no more to say.  Fine to write stream-of-consciousness.  Remember you’re trying to bypass monkey (analytical/critical) mind.  Only requirement:  Full Sentences!

It’s all in the details! 😉

Focus on specifics.  Use real names, real places in your descriptions.  Remember you want to “SHOW” wherever possible.  Showing involves 1)Action 2)Dialogue 3) Description.

Take a break.  If you’re really stuck, you may need a change of scenery.  Shoots some hoops.  Take a swim.  Have a sandwich.  And come back to it when you’re fresh.

There’s no secret to writing.  It’s magic and hard work all rolled into one.

But these tips should help.  Let me know if they do or if you have another one up your sleeve you think could help someone else.  We thank you in advance! 😉

From Zero to 100 - Anxiety-Free Ways of Generating Ideas for College Essays

From Zero to 100: Anxiety-Free Ways of Generating Ideas for College Essays

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I had a friend when I was a kid who had Japanese fighting fish. One night, during a sleepover party at her house, one of them devoured the other. I remember staring at them for a long time before hitting the sack — their fancy, elaborate blue fins like diaphanous curtains swaying this way and that in the clear, illuminated water of the fish tank.

We went to sleep and they were fine. We woke up and remnants of blue were floating in the murky water of the tank.

Apparently, Japanese fighting fish will devour each other if left to their own devices, but will die of loneliness if made to live in total isolation. (Isn\’t that just like any close relationship? You can\’t live with it. You can\’t without it?)

To keep Japanese fighting fish, you must put up a glass barrier so that they can see each other, but will not eat each other alive.

So it is with The Creator and The Critic.

If you let them near each other, the critic will ALWAYS win. It will, in fact, devour that small, still voice within.

The creative voice, in most of us anyway, is like a gossamer thread in a field of snow.

It must be cultivated and protected. Don\’t let the INNER CRITIC near it, especially when writing something as important, and therefore, \”critical,\” as the College Essay.

Freewriting is a way to tame the beast.

After all, in a freewrite, there\’s no need for structure or organization; you don\’t need to know what you\’re talking about; you don\’t need to spell things correctly; you don\’t need to begin, progress and conclude. All you need to do is write your little heart out – in FULL sentences.

It\’s a kind of focused stream-of-consciousness.

That is, you write as much as you can, as fast as you can, without attention to organization or grammar — but you write it on the subject you have identified.  I go into this in much greater detail in my book The Art of the College Essay.

In an essay entitled \”To See Your Story Clearly, Start by Pulling the Wool Over Your Own Eyes,\” Kent Haruf describes it like this:

I remove my glasses, pull a stocking cap down over my eyes and type the first draft single-spaced… in the actual and metaphorical darkness behind my closed eyes, trying to avoid being distracted by syntax or diction or punctuation or grammar or spelling or word choice of anything else that would block the immediate delivery of the story.

I write an entire scene or section on one side of one page, in a very concentrated and incomplete way. I\’m trying to avoid allowing the analytical part of my mind into the process too soon. Instead, I\’m trying to stay in touch with subliminal, subconscious impulses and to get the story down in some spontaneous way.

From the FreeWrite, you can do the job of search and rescue: Excavating and Organizing.

You\’ll get good at this if you keep doing it.

When you do get good, don\’t get seduced into thinking you can skip this step.

Or let\’s put it this way, when in doubt, FREEWRITE! 

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8260372

How to Begin the Common App and UC Essays

UCAS Vs. Common App?

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I am posting this in response to the many questions I get regarding the differences between the Common App essay and the essay for UK schools (UCAS). Indeed, they are different creatures!

 

The Common App asks you to tell a story.  UCAS asks you to describe your experiences.  They are asking for two very different things.

The Common App, with its personal, exploratory, emotional prompts asks you to tell a story about yourself (in 650 words or less) from which the admissions committee can get a “feel” for what you’re like as a person and a student, and for whether you’re a good fit for their school.  In this essay, it’s important to immediately engage the (very bored) reader, in lively prose, with candid reflection, vivid description and an honest expression of who you are.  You are not being asked to speak about your accomplishments, awards and honors, not even about your related work or study experiences.

You could write about anything, as long as your essay reflects the “true” you in a way that shows you know how to write. 

You’ll see what I mean when you read the prompts:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 

2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 

3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 

4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. 

5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 

6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? 

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. 

How to Write a UCAS Undergrad Personal Statement

On the other hand, the UCAS essay asks you to reflect on your accomplishments, area of interest, work experience, goals and aspirations (in 4000 characters or less). It’s a much more straightforward style. You don’t have to worry about “showing” the admissions committee what you’re like, only in “telling” them what you have done, why it was important to you, and what you plan to do in the future.

Here are the guidelines UCAS puts forth to help you write their essay:

Why are you applying for your chosen course(s)? 

Why does this subject interest you?

Why do you think you’re suitable for the course(s)? 

Do your current or previous studies relate to the course(s) that you have chosen? 

Have you taken part in any other activities that demonstrate your interest in the course(s)?

Universities like to know the skills you have that will help you on the course, or generally with life at university.

List these skills here and any supporting evidence to back up why you are so excited about the courses you have chosen. 

Include any other achievements you’re proud of, positions of responsibility that you hold or have held both in and out of school, and attributes that make you interesting, special or unique.

Include details of jobs, placements, work experience or voluntary work, particularly if it’s relevant to your chosen course(s). Try to link any experience to skills or qualities related to the course. 

If you know what you’d like to do after completing the course, explain how you want to use the knowledge and experience that you gain.

It’s useful, if you haven’t already, to google sample winning Common App essays and do the same for UCAS.  You could also take a look at Best College Admissions Essays 2016 for some excellent Common App examples.  Note:  Best College Essays 2018 should be out in early October.

Best College Essays 2016
Navigating the College Process

Navigating the College Process

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Gabrielle Glancy is featured in this article in Marin Magazine.  Some useful information here. Click here for article.

Anxiety has reached an all time high in college admissions these days.

Gone are the times when a 4.0 grade point average and a 2400 on the SAT all but guaranteed a space at Stanford or an Ivy League or UC school. Today, students with perfect grades and test scores are finding more closed doors than open ones. “You could have a 4.3 and 2200 SAT, but for selective schools like UC Berkeley and UCLA, it’s still going to be a reach,” says Laurie Favaro, a private college counselor in Marin.

The result? Students are studying harder, taking more AP courses than ever before and working with private college counselors who charge up to $400 per hour to help gain them a leg up on the competition.
“It’s a jungle out there,” says Gabrielle Glancy, an independent college consultant and former admissions director who has worked with students in the Bay Area for more than 25 years. She is also author of The Art of the College Essay, considered the book on that part of the application process.

“It’s much harder to get into college these days,” she says. “I recently started working with a student whose mom is a West Coast interviewer for Princeton. The mom told me confidentially she could never have gotten into Princeton if she applied today.”

The article goes on to provide some useful information about the New SAT’s and the college process.
Stay tuned for updates soon.

Why Use an Independent College Counselor?

Why Use an Independent College Counselor?

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Recently, I was interviewed by Indian Currents magazine on the role of Independent College Counselors in today’s world of admissions.  Here is a transcript of that interview.

I was happy to answer Kamini’s questions because these are often the ones I get asked by prospective students and their parents.  The world of college admissions has gotten much more complicated than when I applied to college many years ago. High school college counselors are busy and overworked. 

I like to say, if parents could do the work of helping their own kids navigate the college process, I would be out of a job!  

So here’s what I said to answer Kamini’s questions:

1.    What does private college counseling entail? 

When someone asks me what I do, I say that I help students realize their dreams.  What does this mean?  It means helping them succeed in school and get in to where they want to go.  It means helping them make choices about the courses they take, the extra-curricular activities in which they engage, the schools to which they apply, the topics on which they will write their college essays.  Private college counseling is no different than what a high school counselor does, except as a private counselor, you can have much, much more frequent and targeted one-on-one sessions with students, and tailor your approach accordingly.  High school college counselors are stretched very thin and also have to deal with red tape.  For this reason, it has become increasingly popular for people to use private college counselors.  If there weren’t such a dire need for my services, I would be out of a job!  But as it is, my phone is ringing off the hook!

2.    How has the application process changed? How do you and your business plan to address these changes? 

In the almost thirty years I’ve been working in  college counseling, the application process has gotten more and more complicated.  Take the UC’s for example.  For the last eighteen years or so, there were two questions required to fulfill the UC Personal Statement. Now there are eight questions, of which students must choose four.  There used to be only the Common App.  Now there is the Coalition App and the Universal College Application.  When I was a student, you took the SAT’s once.  You didn’t prepare in advance.  You just took it.  Now you must choose between the SAT and the ACT.  And then there’s the SAT 2 Subject Tests!  It has become a great challenge to navigate the college application process.  Even experts like myself have to work hard to keep up with the changes so we can advise our students accordingly.

3.    At what age or grade do you recommend students start to work towards their applications and college goals? 

Believe it or not, I sometimes see students in 8th grade.  Once I even saw a 5th grader!! (That’s a little too early 😉  But I would say it’s most beneficial to meet with a college counselor at least once in freshman year and once in sophomore year, early in each of those years.  And then it’s a good idea to make a concrete plan for SAT/ACT prep and begin that prep at the end of sophomore year or in the summer between 10th and 11th grades.  The earlier you start, the better chance you have of taking the right courses, signing up for the right extracurriculars, and finding out about summer programs and internships that might interest you.  When I meet a student in 11th grade, I often say, “I wish I met you a year ago!”  Start early!  It will make all the difference in the world.

4.    What do students need from your services that they are unable to get from their counselors at school? 

I answered this in a general way in question 1.  But more specifically, I can’t imagine students could find someone better to work with on college essays 😉  I literally wrote the book on it –– The Art of the College Essay!  And it’s a bestseller.  College essays are my area of absolute expertise.  I even train teachers in the methods I use to help students optimize their chances of getting into the schools of their dreams. So there\’s that.  In addition, because I\’m not wedded to any one institution, I have a lot more flexibility.  I\’m not grooming higher achieving students to get into Princeton, Stanford, etc and discouraging the others.  I can help every student find the path that is right for them, and then pull out all stops to get them into the school(s) of their dreams.  I\’m not overworked.  I love what I do.  And I have been extremely successful.  Almost everyone I work with gets into their top school — and takes a deep and beautiful journey to get there.  Does that answer your question? 😉

5.    Have you noticed an increase in students using counseling services in recent years? How is the business of college counseling growing?

As I mentioned, I am incredibly busy.  There is a HUGE need for my services.  Students have no idea how to write their essays.  They are filled with anxiety and stress.  And they don’t know where to turn.  A big part of my job is helping them calm down, find their stories and write winning essays that will get them in.

6.    What expectations do you want people to have when beginning to use consulting services?  

I always tell parents and students that though I cannot guarantee acceptance 100% of the time (only about 94%), I can guarantee that when they press send, students and parents alike will be super confident in their applications and essays, that in fact, they will know in their hearts they could not, under any circumstances, have done better if they tried. That\’s a good feeling.  The rest we leave up to the gods! 

College Admissions

Wanna Know the Timeline for the College Process?

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Embarking on The College Process does not begin in senior year.  On the contrary, there are many steps along the way that are very important.  Here is an outline of what needs to happen when:

Freshman, Sophomores and Juniors

In reality, the college process begins freshman year when students choose their courses and begin to engage in extra-curricular activities.  Then, as sophomores, in most schools, students take the PSAT’s.  Generally, by spring of sophomore year students start thinking about preparation for the SAT and/or ACT exams.  The summer between sophomore and junior year is a key time for test preparation.  It is important students keep their grades up as they start juggling a full load of upper-level courses, extracurricular activities and preparation for the tests.  At New Vision Learning, we help students every step of the way. And we keep the timeline in the front of our minds so that students and parents know exactly what to do when.  Here is a list of the services we provide:

  • Course selection

  • Transcript review

  • Homework & Time Management

  • Review of extracurricular activities

  • Summer and Enrichment opportunities, Internships

  • Athletic Recruitment Preparation Packages (where applicable)

  • Preliminary College List in View of Academic Goals and Interests

  • Timeline and Registration for Tests

  • SAT/ACT Diagnostic Assessment including, where necessary

  • Accomodations

  • SAT/ACT and SAT Subject Test Preparation

Seniors and Rising Seniors

This is where the pedal meets the metal, as they say!  Good preparation involves starting early so unless we don’t meet a senior until his or her senior year (which sometimes happens and we welcome everyone), many of the preliminary steps will already have been taken.  Nonetheless, summer before senior year is key.  And of course the fall of senior year is when the deadlines for college applications are looming.  Here is a list of the services we provide our seniors and rising seniors.

  • Timetable

  • Finalizing the college list

  • Review of Admission Requirements and Deadlines for UC’s and all other college and universities

  • Review of Transcripts

  • Continued Preparation for SAT/ACT

  • Recommendations, Who and How to Ask for Them

  • Early Decision?  Early Action? How do you Decide?

  • College Essay Consolidation

  • Topic Brainstorming

  • Helping Students Write Winning Essays

  • Preparing for Interviews

  • Difficult Choices?  We can help you make the right one for you.

  • Waitlisted?  Now what?  Follow up.

SAT/ACT Dates & Common App Prompts

What’s (App)ening? ;-) SAT/ACT Dates & Common App Prompts

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ACT dates for the prompts for the Common App Essay.  Remember you only have to pick one topic (or write on a topic of your choice).  Word limit 650.

SAT Test Dates 2018-2019

 ACT Test Dates 2018-19

ACT Test Dates 2018-19

As for tips on how to write that winning essay?  The Art of the College Essay, written by yours truly, is a great place to start!

More top tips on the way.  Stay tuned!

 

How to Get Started on Your College Essay(s)

How to Get Started on Your College Essay(s)

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How do you begin writing your college essay(s)? I get this question all the time.

Many people think you simply brainstorm a topic and start writing!  

Where’s the best place to start?  The beginning, of course!  

NOT! 

It’s a grave misconception that writing is linear.  

It’s nearly impossible, starting from scratch, to write an introduction.

How can you introduce a topic you know nothing about?

Although I read the Common App prompts aloud to my students before we begin a brainstorming session, I wouldn’t think of asking them to pick a topic and start an essay on that topic, just like that (unless, of course, they really want to do so!)  Rather, I like to lead them through the back door.

I have oft been quoted as saying, “You have to get lost in order to get found.”

 But what does this mean in practical terms?  How do you lead a student into chaos?

How to Get Started on Your College Essay

I have my ways!  And you can find out more about them in my book on the subject The Art of the College Essay.

Often, I start by asking them to identify five significant moments in their lives in which they went into an experience one person and came out slightly, or more than slightly, changed.  A moment, I tell them, can be an instant, an epiphany, a weekend, a semester, a conversation — but a real moment in time, one that happened on a specific day, in a specific place.  

Once they have identified these moments, I ask them to “give me the gist,” to tell me what happened and what they learned from what happened.

What I do next is probably one of the most important steps in the process.  I teach them about the Four Modes of Writing:  Showing, Telling, Analyzing and Reflecting.  I teach them what it means to SHOW, what it means to TELL and how to combine them.

And then they’re ready for the Free Write.

The Free Write is certainly the most important step in the process.

But how does all this writing end up answering one of the questions, of the Common App, say, or of the University of California.

Well, that’s the beauty.  Both the Common App and the UC’s have questions so broad that almost any topic can be massaged to fit the prompt.  Sometimes, you do have to Free Write ON a specific topic, it’s true.  But most of the time, you can choose one or more of your significant moments and you will see that with just a few critical adjustments, these moments will answer one of the questions.

This is the complete opposite of what most college advisors will tell you.  And I’m completely convinced, without a shadow of a doubt, this method is what makes my students’ essays so successful!

Witness where my students have gotten in!  And what they say about the process 😉

Businessman flying on dollar banknote towards finish line

Speed-Reading Applications?

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In my news feed this morning appeared an article in the Wall Street Journal that seemed to be aimed directly at me. 

You can tell a whole heck of a lot more about a kid by reading their essay(s) than by seeing their SAT scores.

Entitled Some Elite Colleges Review an Application in 8 Minutes (or Less), the article explains that as application numbers surge, admissions officers at some elite colleges say they don’t have time to read an entire file.

Instead, staffers from more schools—including the Georgia Institute of Technology, Rice University, and Bucknell in Pennsylvania—now divvy up individual applications. One person might review transcripts, test scores and counselor recommendations, while the other handles extracurricular activities and essays.

I was sitting in my office at Villanova Prep, where, for the month of January, I am serving as Interim Director of College Counseling when the article popped into view.  I happened at that moment to be meeting with a parent whose son — let’s call him Zach — has a varied portfolio.  Super-smart, but pegged as having “learning differences,”  Zach’s curiosity, uniqueness and ambition don’t do him justice on paper, or on the screen, as the case may be  — depending on which piece of the pie you have in your hands at any given moment! His SAT’s are only a tiny bit above average (high 600’s); his grades A’s and B’s; his extracurriculars, varied, but not overwhelmingly impressive.  And yet, he’s a deep, thoughtful, appealing kid.  He wants to be a venture capitalist like his dad.  Anyone who meets him knows he will one day be very successful, pretty much no matter where he gets in.

The SAT person, who sees only his scores, among the many 700’s that cross his desk, might pass on Zach.

How about the recent college grad screening for extracurriculars?  Zach’s done cool stuff.  Maybe, “Maybe.”

The person reading the essays, who has the most important job, might give him an A+, a thumbs up, a definite “Yes.”

This could work in Zach’s favor if the essay guy can convince the others that it’s worth taking a risk on Zach.  If not, he’s probably not going to get in.

On the other hand, this system allows the person assigned to read essays not to have to consider the other factors (like SAT scores and grades) while delving into the deeper aspects of the student’s character.

Theoretically anyway, the essay reader will have a less biased view of the candidate, at the very least, one which is not (yet) influenced by the candidate’s scores.

In my view, that’s a plus. 

This speedy and fragmented system might be even more subjective than the slower, more considered system we had before. 

I can tell you this, having worked in admissions — slogging through 60,000 boring essays is no picnic!  That one shining star — the essay that grabs you by the collar and wrests the cup of coffee out of your hand — is going to get noticed, this way or that.

But perhaps this is the beginning of an era in which SAT scores take even more of a back seat to grades, EC’s and essays.  Now that would be a great development!

I welcome your thoughts on the subject. Please leave me a comment and I\’ll be sure to reply!

Common App Essay Topics

Need a Topic for your Common App Essay?

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As you know, there are seven prompts this year for the Common App essay.  And here they are:

2017-2018 Common Application Essay Prompts

If I were to ask you to pick one prompt and set to writing on it, you might start to sweat with anxiety.  

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. [No change]

2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? [Revised]

3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? [Revised]

4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. [No change]

5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. [Revised]

6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? [New]

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. [New]

Ok, I read these.  I understand them. Now what do I write about?

That which shall not be named (writer\’s block) is the experience many students have when asked to face the questions head on.

Sure, you can, and should, jot down whatever comes to mind as you review these prompts, but then what?  What do you do next?

I prefer to go through the side door!

For me, this involves asking a student to come up with five (or more than five) significant moments in their lives — times when they went into an experience one person, and came out slightly, or more than slightly, changed.

These could be things like the first time they realized they could add in their head, the time they almost drowned in a tidal wave when an ocean liner went by the beach, the day their mom told them they were adopting a little girl from China.

But moments are important.  “Last summer” is too broad.  Find specific moment in which something happened that changed you.

Next, well you probably know what I”m going to say:  FREE WRITE in a loose, free, stream of consciousness way about these moments specifically.  Show, and tell, and reflect on the experience in any order you like.  Exhaust the topic.  Be FREE, but use full sentences!

From there, you can look at what you’ve written to see what you have to say.  Often, the topic will present itself, sometimes in disguise.  See how your significant moments relate to each other.  And then, see if there is a common thread or theme.

My experience is that going about it in this way will result in THE WAND FINDING THE WIZARD!!

Be open to what presents itself.  Go where the river takes you.

It’s a whole heck of a lot easier than worrying what you’re going to write about.  Try it.  And let me know how it works! Leave me a comment.  I\’m always eager to know what you think!

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